


for lovers who hesitate

by realfolkblues



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Drabble, Han Jisung | Han Is Bad at Feelings, I'm actually proud of this, Light Angst, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-10
Updated: 2020-07-10
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:08:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25180666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/realfolkblues/pseuds/realfolkblues
Summary: “my growing heart, i can’t break it pretending i didn’t see it.” —jannabi, for lovers who hesitate.or, the one where jisung never makes a move.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Felix, Han Jisung | Han/Lee Felix
Comments: 8
Kudos: 41





	for lovers who hesitate

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by for lovers who hesitate by jannabi.

Jisung knew that he had an overwhelming amount of love in his heart. He wanted to do so many things: to have someone’s roseate face shrink into their arms at his words; to hold someone until his arms become their home; to hold someone’s face in his hands and lean in, professing his everlasting love; to find his smile in another person’s; to have someone, and let that someone have him. The problem is he never knew who that someone could be.

Until the universe gave him Lee Felix.

How to describe Felix? Beautiful. In every sense of the word. Beautiful face, beautiful heart, beautiful voice, beautiful everything. Everything about him entranced Jisung, beckoning him to come closer.

Except, he never did.

They first met when Felix was working as an assistant at the campus library. It was 5 p.m., and most of the students had went back to their dorms by then—except for one.

The first thing Felix noticed about him was how he strikingly resembled a squirrel. He wanted so badly to poke Jisung’s cheeks, and he could’ve taken advantage of the fact that he was asleep, but that would’ve been unprofessional. So he tapped the sleeping boy’s shoulder in an attempt to wake him up.

The first thing Jisung noticed about him was the fact that he had freckles. Freckles that were all over his cheeks like constellations. He noticed everything next. The shape of his lips, a cupid’s bow that would’ve made cupid himself envious; bright, sparkling eyes like the sea during a sunset, eyes that Jisung were lost in for a good five seconds. He almost blurted out, _“Angel?”_ but luckily stopped himself.

It was Felix who spoke first. “Hey,” he began. “Sorry, but we’re gonna close soon, so if you could…”

“Oh. Oh, yeah, of course, no big deal.” Jisung clumsily picked up his things and scurried out of the library, almost tripping over his own feet. Felix was shocked at how quickly someone could move while being that nervous. He felt sorry for the boy, but tried to shrug it off.

They met for a second time in the hallway after their classes. It was Felix who spoke first.

“Aren’t you the guy who fell asleep at the library?”

If it was anyone else, Jisung would’ve yelled at them in all his overdramatic glory. But it was Felix—not just somebody in Jisung’s eyes. “And aren’t you the guy who woke up my peaceful slumber?”

Felix smiled at that—not that he wasn’t already smiling to begin with; the brightness that radiated from him made Jisung even more sure that he was an angel. “I think so, apologies for that.”

Jisung finally had a name to attach to the pretty library boy. Lee Felix. He found that they had more in common than Jisung thought; he was surprised at how quickly they clicked.

But he felt it all crumble when at the end of the day, as the sun was setting in the background, blanketing their world in a symphony of romantic colours, Felix leaned on his shoulder while laughing. It was a short scene, something that ended as quickly as it started. But to Jisung, it was more than that; that single moment seemed to extend, defying time; to him, it felt like an entire play.

That was the first time Jisung had a long conversation with Felix, and it was the last. Their encounters became limited to short greetings when they passed each other, which grew even more and more awkward as time passed.

“I’m just scared,” Jisung told Changbin. “I don’t know, do you know that feeling of just… where you’re scared of everything you do. I’ve been feeling that for a while.”

“Since you met Felix, you mean.” Changbin shoved another fry in his mouth. The only reason why he’d go to McDonald’s at 3 a.m. is if someone would pay for his order—which is exactly what’s happening now, thank the heavens Jisung isn’t being stingy for once.

“Yes and what about it?” There’s a pause. Then, “I don’t know, man, I really don’t. I’m scared because he’s so different from me.”

“I thought you said you had a lot in common?”

“We do. But that’s not what I mean. He’s like, sunshine and sprinkles and sugar and everything nice—”

“A Powerpuff.”

“—meanwhile I’m the opposite of that.”

As one might’ve guessed, this fear didn’t recede. Until one day, where Jisung went to the library and Felix wasn’t there.

Apparently, that was all that he needed to get to his feet. The realisation that Felix could disappear from his life, the realisation that everything he knew could change in a flash. The way Felix isn’t just anybody else, but he was someone who only came once. He felt something pull him towards Felix, something stronger than gravity. It felt like something the universe crafted for them and only them.

He searched for Felix everywhere, and it wasn’t until sunset that he found him—a literature major—in front of one of the art studios.

In his hand was another person’s hand. Not Jisung’s.

It was Felix who spoke first. “Jisung, it’s been a while.” Silence. “This is my boyfriend, Chan.”

It was Jisung who walked away first.


End file.
